Kamikaze Lassplanes – PS5 Review

I keep wondering if a visual novel’s truly going to bowl me over.  I don’t really like it as a storytelling medium and there’s always the pervy underbelly that makes me want to steer clear.  Kamikaze Lassplanes, at the very least, injects traditional shoot-em-up gameplay into a story about women that inexplicably become machines of war.  Inky Dreams are behind the controls and, whilst the story has a European feel to it, every thing else feels considerably anime.

The story focuses around an Empire at war. Lassplanes are women that can turn into weapons on a whim. You play Walter, a pilot whose job to commandeer one of two women to fight against the opposing forces. It is an absurd premise played incredibly straight. The conflict itself doesn’t show much nuance and the nature of the transforming gunship girls only comes into view at the very end. Whilst the script it very wordy, the very concept of sitting inside and piloting a woman gave me an immediate excuse to switch off.

Alba and Hannah are the two women vying for your affection. The game wastes little time angling them as a romantic option. Alba is first up and she plays the typical naïve girl that’s struck with wide-eyed wonderment at most things. She’s particularly fussed about food and her bubbly personality did eventually grate on me. Hannah is more standoffish and shows more of a professional approach to being a weapon capable of spitting bullets infinitely out of her front trap. Or something. Whilst they’re not quite polar opposites, they feel like one-dimensional archetypes, at times.

There’s little friction between the trio, with eight endings seemingly split between the two love interests. As a result, the branching narrative choices can be exclusively binary. They become romance options almost immediately and it doesn’t feel earned. When the chance to get to know them does transpire, there’s some intriguing plots that seem to vanish into the background until returning for the conclusion. I don’t get a strong sense of build out of it.

Gameplay switches between two modes. The visual novel delivers a heavy script split by these choices. Whilst it’s very of the genre, the artwork is colourful and vibrant. It’s cemented into anime trappings, complete with concept that unlocks which seems mostly concerned with teasing glimpses of skin. The language tries to be descriptive but I’ve never really been a fan of visual novels as a storytelling medium. Static portraits seem to only portray the loudest of emotions and that’s the case with Kamikaze Lassplanes. The fact it’s not fully voiced amplifies that annoyance. Lines of dialogue get frequent yelps and exclamations which can get old very fast.

Walter sound exclusively mute and, whilst games do like to give you a blank canvas, I don’t feel the narrative choices really add much. Aside from his ability as a pilot, I didn’t get much else from him. I could extend to the rest of the cast. They all just seem a little bit bland and obvious. Tonally, there’s some whiplash. For an empire at war, there’s enough downtime for the cast to let their guard down and relax. Sometimes the conflict hits close to home but it’s never struck me as a looming threat.

At least the shoot ’em sections are good. It controls well enough with both women controlling the same. Yon can hold down the shoot button for an indefinite spray and I generally played that way. There is no evasive manoeuvres, save for a slow-motion meter which comes into play late. Whilst enemies do deliver plenty of their own projectiles, the patterns don’t reach bullet hell proportions. I find it a perfectly acceptable shooter. The main difference between the two vehicles is their special attack. Dealing damage fills up a meter which then allows for a powerful special attack. Alba’s my favourite with her laser being able to evaporate anything in front of her. The force of which pushes her back, allowing for the maximum carnage.

It says a lot that I was looking forward to these sections. Power-ups are plentiful and, at full power, there’s a sizeable spread to dish out. Once you’ve maxed out the guns, the situation becomes more about managing health or the meter. I still gobbled up every thing that popped out, even if it placed me in some danger. My health was never truly in trouble, although one boss did take me closer than I’d like.

These encounters are simple to understand. Most of them had vulnerable weak spots that were easily found. I did not find anything complex about them but they did show some variation in their designs. Most stages end on a boss and it’s nice way to wrap up a chapter. It’s a shame it doesn’t escalate more. They do try to add gimmicks but your weaponry is set in stone. It makes the bread and butter shooting feel a touch too ordinary. At least these interludes don’t outstay their welcome. Only the final gauntlet feels suitably longer. Arcade Mode does effectively silo the shoot-em-up into it’s own cohesive experience. When taken together, it’s a decent time.

The shoot ’em up stages do give Kamikaze Lassplanes something more interesting than buttoning through dialogue. I don’t enjoy the visual novel aspects and the conceit of transforming aircraft women just raises a lot of uncomfortable questions. Walter’s not an especially deep character so you mostly have to imprint some depth on to him through your choices. Unfortunately, these choices are binary and largely lead to which crime against nature and engineering you want to romance.