Drug Dealer Simulator – PS5 Review

I’m going to assume in the bowels of the Steam store there are simulators for everything. Not all of them find their way to console and I was surprised to see Drug Dealer Simulator make its way to Playstation 5 years after its initial release. Despite the age and the grimy exterior, I can’t bring myself to hate Byterunner’s efforts. It’s a grind and it’s sense of humour is grating but there is an execution on a premise that I can’t completely turn my nose up at.

The tone of it feels very juvenile. It’s not on the same level of a Saints Row or Grand Theft Auto and it really does fall short of parody. Honestly, I found it off-putting and the disclaimer the game opens with always grinds my gears. It does subside. Once I got into the bread and butter drug deals, the attempts at edgy humour completely dissipate. The work quickly overshadows any shot of a personality. I almost wish it kept going as hard but it’s clear the ideas just weren’t strong enough.

The setup involves an American nation under curfew. They’ve gone hard after immigrants so any persons under the radar seemingly turned to crime. It doesn’t really develop beyond that, giving your character the simple motivation to sling rocks and justify why so many of the neighbours want a score. It is daft but at least it’s a starting point.

What you do in Drug Dealer Simulator is very self-explanatory. You sell drugs in what appears to be a completely broken community. The setup involves police enforced curfews and some mild fascism. That seemingly has led a nation into licit substances that you can handily provide. It starts small time with weed and speed being your only drugs to sling. Customers are plentiful and the police presence seems pretty light.

The initial loop feels constant. You get clients approaching you via your laptop and, providing you have the merchandise to sell, you can meet those needs easily. Should you require more dope, Eddie is your main cartel hook-up. He’ll leave stashes in hidden spots around town for you to physically recover. You need to be quick about it because there’s always the risk it could be stolen. I’ve never left that thread to dangle too long but, as the game becomes more demanding, time can slip away.

To the game’s credit, new mechanics are rolled out frequently. As you gain more money, you’re encouraged to launder it through purchases and properties. Having too much of the dirty cash raises the suspicion of the authorities so it’s worth funnelling that money elsewhere. You can hire dealers to make their own deliveries and even cut your own drugs for more addictive properties or to stretch out your supply. As basic as everything is, there’s a tactile feel to package preparation. The inventory management and workbench is a little wonky but it does get the job done.

Being aware of what’s on you can be vital if a police search strikes. You can throw your backpack at any time but they will dig into your pockets. It definitely carries its own risks but the stealth required is very simple. The city isn’t much to look at but it is filled with alleyways and places to lie low. If all else fails, you can run. It’s not always the best option as the cops do seem capable with tasers. Making it back home will call off the hunt but you will be considered a fugitive for the next few hours.

If all else fails, the game autosaves regularly. Manual saves are also available if you fancy a do-over. Patrols seem random and I have been caught just stepping out of my apartment. Customers seem very set and it’s nice to see regulars returning for more. I’ll not go so far as to say you build a connection with them but losing a lucrative junkie to an overdose is something that can happen.

It’s weird to consider how much of a grind drug pushing is. It’s a slow start with just a small slice of the city to work with. As you gain more respect for successful sales, more markets become available. You can never escape the legwork, however large your empire becomes. I grew tired of that loop and preferred to play in small sessions.  One thing that does bother me is the need to give correct drug amounts.  They will not accept the slightest extra cargo but you can dish out free samples to complete strangers.  It does lead to being accurate with your packaging but it can be annoying to miscalculate and have to leave a buyer hanging.

Presentation is very ugly. The world itself is grimy and can feel quite empty. The police add an element of danger but the atmosphere can feel very subdued. Areas look very run down and there’s a general lack of polish. It feels like a game made in asset store with stock sound effects for levelling up, successful deals and so on. There is some voice work that adds to the edgy writing but it can feel sparse. It’s not exactly acted with the most gusto but, without it, the game’s dialogue is text-based.  I’m not a big fan of the compass.  It’s a little too lively and has made me blitz past a couple of dead drops.

It’s strange. I did not like the first impression Drug Dealer Simulator gave me. It really hits you over the head with a snarky, juvenile sensibility. Once you’re into the grind of dealing, the game starts to settle down. It’s a basic, repetitive jumble but it does feel considered. You’ve got a lot to think about when out on the streets. I find you have enough flexibility to have some moral agency. I could stay as a lowly weed dealer or ascend up the ranks making addicts of my clients. That said, the novelty does wear off quickly.